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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?